Haiku And The Zombie Apocalypse – Poetic Rantitude

A recent post by a self proclaimed “social media marketing pro” took the myopic view on behalf of the rest of the universe that nobody cares about rants because they are all negative, button pushing pieces by miserable people who are all trolls with no value in the “socialsphere.”

We disagree.  Rants come in all flavors on all topics using various formats.  The Rantitude mission is to find the best of the best by bright, fun, intelligent people who have an opinion to voice about something of substance.  Mean people or content is not tolerated.  Humor is appreciated.

During our search for epic rants, I came across a very random video about zombies.  I love zombies.  The Walking Dead is my favorite show.  I optioned a zombie book this year for the film and television rights and am almost done with the adapted screenplay.  Zombies rule more than San Dimas High School Football!

After an extensive search I found the creator of the video, Ryan Mecum, and requested permission to publish it on Rantitude. Ryan graciously granted permission to publish any of his work and we thank him for allowing us to share his humorous, rotting, 17 syllable rants.

What makes the video great is that it is full of rants about zombies, by zombies, using the traditional poetic structure of Haiku.  Ryan loves Haiku and it turns out he has published several books of Haiku including Zombie Haiku.  No this is not a troll being mean, using profanity and hurting the feelings of a self proclaimed “social media marketing pro.”   Just a kind undead soul caught in the zombie apocalypse but still able to rant via Haiku between bites of warm flesh.

Enjoy these select Haiku by Ryan and a few submitted to him by friends as well as his video.  We sure did!

 

Some of Ryan’s favorite writers and poets sent him their own Zombie Haiku:

After the Zombie Apocalypse by Catherine Chee

Stroke her oozing face
Our culture defines beauty
Rot is lovely now

Lunch by David Wellington

The day I died you
tried to put a bullet in
my head. You missed. Lunch!

Zombie Love Song by Christopher Moore

You are my desire.
Eating your luscious love thoughts
My Junk Just Dropped Off

 

Zombie Haiku (Video)

 

Ryan Created These As If Famous Poets Wrote Zombie Haiku

 

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle
into that zombie plagued night.
And take the shotgun.

Sylvia Plath

From head to black shoe,
daddy, I had to eat you
because I’m starving.

Robert Frost

Two lobes in the skull.
I eat the bloodier one –
not much difference.

e.e. cummings

if anyone lived
in this wretched how town (they)
would be soon eaten.

Emily Dickinson

I heard a fly buzz
when I became a zombie.
That was one loud bug.

Walt Whitman

Every skin atom
form’d from this soil, this air,
tastes like chicken meat.

William Shakespeare

To bite through the skull
or beat it against the wall?
That is the question.

Edgar Allen Poe

Beside of the sea
I killed my Annabel Lee
because zombies do that.

Theodore Roethke

I knew a woman,
piled up once I ate her,
lovely in her bones.

 

Check out Ryan Mecum’s Zombie Haiku and other Haiku collections on Amazon.  He defiantly offers the world a unique style of Rantitude.  And of course…aim for the head!!!

Ryan Mecum (www.ryanmecum.com) is the author of the adorably disgusting Horror Haiku series that includes Zombie Haiku, Vampire Haiku, Werewolf Haiku, and Dawn Of Zombie Haiku. He can be found on Twitter at @MecumHaiku. He lives in Cincinnati, OH, and is constantly thinking in a 5-7-5 haiku syllable structure.